• It’s handy to be able to share thoughts with all of one’s friends at once, but isn’t that time that would be better spent talking to your friends in person and telling them these things? While news blogs make sense, a personal blog seems to me like convenience gone too far — without ever having had a conversation with a friend, one leads oneself to feel one has “kept in touch” in some way by posting some words on the internet.
• It’s also handy that as soon as I have a thought I can type it into this box, click a button, and voila — my blog has another post and is generating hits and maybe somebody will even “like” it on facebook! Oh, thrill of thrills. But how many thoughts have I allowed to languish, undeveloped to their fullest potential because I simply vomited them onto a blog as soon as they came into my head? Would I have written or otherwise created something meaningful by now had this form of brief, instant self-expression not been so readily available to me?
• At this point in my life, I really no longer feel the need to subject an audience to my lengthy navel-gazing. In fact I really prefer not to. On the other hand, I don’t want to have to keep up with current events well enough to run anything resembling a news/politics/opinion blog, and anyway, nor do I think my opinion is just so freaking special and great that it needs to be out there on the internet. So that leaves me with basically no purpose for this blog.
• Furthermore, as a consequence of the thoughts above, I’ve decided I really should try to disentangle the internet from my life somewhat. If somebody thinks highly enough of me to be reading this, we should get coffee rather than having this pathetic non-versation. (And if you think so lowly of me that you’re reading this, why don’t we duke it out like they used to in the good old days?) Anyway, having this blog here, begging me to spend hours filling it with unfinished drivel, isn’t exactly helping with the cause.
• Also, I hate how easily I get lured into saying such pedantic, pomo things when I start blogging.
• The urge to try and write things that will get linked to, or get lots of views, or basically to try and get any sort of attention on big, important blogs and websites is as difficult to resist as it is obnoxious, and usually results in equally obnoxious posts.

I’m not sure whether I will continue updating here, either now or in the future. I’m not even sure whether I will leave anything viewable to the public here. If that makes you sad, let’s send each other e-mails or letters or morse code messages or something.

some of us more than others have spent a lifetime listening to the sweet promise of untold rewards, a life free from worry and want, should we graduate from college. ah-ah, the gate-keepers admonish, splendor awaits, but only when we have acquired their prized endorsement, the bachelor’s degree. thousands of minutes and dollars slip through our fingers as we spin our wheels — and now we find a diploma is the cruelest joke of all.

bedecked right now in gold lamé
that hipster will be nude some-day
i shouldn’t wish, then, were i you
a hipster to wake up next to

Be a man!
Drive a truck
Stare at girls you’d like to fuck
With piggy eyes you leer at them
And rate them all from one to ten 

Be a man!
Get a job
Shave your beard or be a slob
Even if you’re fat or gay
Everyone hears what you say 

Be a man!
Write a book
Clarify your grand outlook
With ample faux self-deprecation
Pontificate re: your generation 

Be a man!
Deny it’s true
That chauvinism’s much to do
With your so-called enlightened views
Oh, how very nice to be a dude!

The Low Artist

I’m a low low artist
There’s no one worse than me
Even if you had binoculars
I don’t think you could see 

I’m a low low artist
Of whom you’ll not have heard
And if you saw my poem
You would not read a word 

And if I had a painting
You wouldn’t look at it
I’m a low low artist
You wouldn’t give a shit 

I’m a low low artist
It’s terrible it’s true
Even if I had a telescope
I doubt I could see you!