Ascent of Man

Be a man!
Drive a truck
Stare at girls you’d like to fuck
With piggy eyes you leer at them
And rate them all from one to ten 

Be a man!
Get a job
Shave your beard or be a slob
Even if you’re fat or gay
Everyone hears what you say 

Be a man!
Write a book
Clarify your grand outlook
With ample faux self-deprecation
Pontificate re: your generation 

Be a man!
Deny it’s true
That chauvinism’s much to do
With your so-called enlightened views
Oh, how very nice to be a dude!